... but outwith Scotland I'm not.
I was a little surprised to stumble across the word "outwith" on my recent sojourn north of the border. Turns out it means without, but the ingenious celts decided to distinguish the "without" that means lacking something from the "without" which means outside or external to. How very helpful of them.
Perhaps they can next set their mind to disambiguating fluke: keflu, ukefl, lukefm ?????
Courtesy bidfors me from telling them to offf**k with our language.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Its all in the stars
Astronomy began to diverge from astrology, in the Muslim world during the turn of the 2nd millenium AD, and in 2006 the U.S. National Science Board published a statement identifying astrology, along with ten other practices or beliefs, as "pseudoscientific" due to their lack of statistically significant predictions or a plausible explanation for how planetary positions could consistently affect human behaviours. [Wikipedia]
So thats the americans, people who say things like "the jury is still out on evolution". So why then when Prof Brian Cox and Dara O'Briain say "Let's get this straight once and for all, Astrology is rubbish" The other presenter, Brian Cox, then agreed and said "in the interests of balance on the BBC, yes astrology is nonsense." is there an outcry?
Let's face it, no-one believes their horoscopes, do they? That's what I thought.
Apparently my horoscope for today (11/02/2011) is "What would happen if you decided to take care of yourself today, Gemini? This is what the planets are trying to tell you. You need to relax, to let yourself be taken care of, and close your eyes and dream. Leave the daily tasks behind. You need peace and quiet. Lie down and release all your worries. You don't need to act and you don't need to react. Just relax." if you check horoscope.com but "It scares you when life seems like it's slipping through your fingers and you can't slow it down. But it isn't life that's playing tricks on you. You aren't seeing things as clearly as you should be. You feel a little left out, but don't worry. You're just out of energy. Try and think of this empty feeling inside as a kind of purification or a much-needed break from everything." if you check oh wait horoscope.com, maybe the stars realigned between my clicks!?!?
So(*) the think I have been trying to find time to get the whimsical centres of my brain onto recently is that asstrology is supposed to predict the future, now let's assume for a moment that it does in fact work (and is better at it than the canary that predicted my friend Roz's wedding, not happened). They looked into the night sky and saw that light years away (so thats years ago too) the stars were aligned in such a way that said: "Pisces (Dr Brian Cox): you may feel inclined to be disparaging about pseudoscience today, do so at your peril" and "Aquarius: your outspoken stance may outrage the feebleminded. Wear a hat". and deduced that they were in for a rocky ride. Why not get their defence in early? Discredit Cox, accuse him of being a soothsayer, witness prophecy "Things can only get better". Rubbish O'briain.
Did they? no. why? 'cause they didn't see it coming, 'cause astrology is nonsense. The stars are there because thats where they are and we are here for the same reason. might as well derive meaning from the alignment of the tea leaves left in the bottom of your cup of the juxtaposition of the creases on your palm. Ah you're all idiots and what's more you've proved your prediction engine doesn't work. Now SHUT UP and move on to homeopathy, now there's something you can really believe in, belief is all its got.
Homework: read Francis Wheen: How Mumbo Jumbo conquered the world
don't read your horoscope
I have read up on it and here are my horoscopical predictions for you, yes you.
Aries: you are not getting enough sleep of late, treat yourself to an early night
Scorpio: is someone you know becoming more distant? try sending them an email
Capri: did you forget to collect your kids from kindergarten this evening? Are you sure? well where are they?
Gibbonii: who's that behind you? no not him, HIM!
Gemini: you will promise to write blog post and fail to do so. (omg that is so true of me!!!!!!)
* more on "so" in some later post
So thats the americans, people who say things like "the jury is still out on evolution". So why then when Prof Brian Cox and Dara O'Briain say "Let's get this straight once and for all, Astrology is rubbish" The other presenter, Brian Cox, then agreed and said "in the interests of balance on the BBC, yes astrology is nonsense." is there an outcry?
Let's face it, no-one believes their horoscopes, do they? That's what I thought.
Apparently my horoscope for today (11/02/2011) is "What would happen if you decided to take care of yourself today, Gemini? This is what the planets are trying to tell you. You need to relax, to let yourself be taken care of, and close your eyes and dream. Leave the daily tasks behind. You need peace and quiet. Lie down and release all your worries. You don't need to act and you don't need to react. Just relax." if you check horoscope.com but "It scares you when life seems like it's slipping through your fingers and you can't slow it down. But it isn't life that's playing tricks on you. You aren't seeing things as clearly as you should be. You feel a little left out, but don't worry. You're just out of energy. Try and think of this empty feeling inside as a kind of purification or a much-needed break from everything." if you check oh wait horoscope.com, maybe the stars realigned between my clicks!?!?
So(*) the think I have been trying to find time to get the whimsical centres of my brain onto recently is that asstrology is supposed to predict the future, now let's assume for a moment that it does in fact work (and is better at it than the canary that predicted my friend Roz's wedding, not happened). They looked into the night sky and saw that light years away (so thats years ago too) the stars were aligned in such a way that said: "Pisces (Dr Brian Cox): you may feel inclined to be disparaging about pseudoscience today, do so at your peril" and "Aquarius: your outspoken stance may outrage the feebleminded. Wear a hat". and deduced that they were in for a rocky ride. Why not get their defence in early? Discredit Cox, accuse him of being a soothsayer, witness prophecy "Things can only get better". Rubbish O'briain.
Did they? no. why? 'cause they didn't see it coming, 'cause astrology is nonsense. The stars are there because thats where they are and we are here for the same reason. might as well derive meaning from the alignment of the tea leaves left in the bottom of your cup of the juxtaposition of the creases on your palm. Ah you're all idiots and what's more you've proved your prediction engine doesn't work. Now SHUT UP and move on to homeopathy, now there's something you can really believe in, belief is all its got.
Homework: read Francis Wheen: How Mumbo Jumbo conquered the world
don't read your horoscope
I have read up on it and here are my horoscopical predictions for you, yes you.
Aries: you are not getting enough sleep of late, treat yourself to an early night
Scorpio: is someone you know becoming more distant? try sending them an email
Capri: did you forget to collect your kids from kindergarten this evening? Are you sure? well where are they?
Gibbonii: who's that behind you? no not him, HIM!
Gemini: you will promise to write blog post and fail to do so. (omg that is so true of me!!!!!!)
* more on "so" in some later post
Sunday, October 17, 2010
AAAAregh 5 things I love about flying*
hmm just going to edit an in-progress post when came across this stuck in drafts....
.....
I am trying to be this smiley friendly easy digestible person that everyone tells me I should be. (I remember being told there was no place for cynicism in a team I was interviewing to join!!!)
So lets start on 5 things I love about flying*....
1) celebrity sightings... I met Nicky Butt in an airport lounge, and sat next to the manager of the Spanish National Equestrian team on a plane once.
2) Impromptu Sleeping.. Maybe as a result of my nocturnal sleep problems, I have a wonderful ability to sleep whenever I need to. So, much to my co-traveler's annoyance, I am able to drop off before the safety briefing, perk up just in time for the trolley service, and then drift off before the descent into whereever.
3) Knowing what's going on.. I quite enjoy being one of the few people who seem to actually know what the steps are to getting yourself on the plane, whilst everyone else is bimbling around (but see later for the flip). Knowing where your gate is, is a good start, knowing when you should be there helps too.
4) Now I am starting to struggle... Having necessary down time, this could be accused of being a duplicate of 2) but, its all the time that the airline require you to spend at the airport whilst they sort their sh*t out. Its great for catching up on reading or eating an overpriced and undercooked meal (to be fair, the airport restaurants seem to be improving)
5) The carpets? the.... no I'm not sure I can stretch to thing of a 5th thing, turning out the lights for taking off and landing in the hours of darkness, thats good, really cold red wine? sometimes that is surprisingly good (surprisingly because your expectations are so, so low). Online checkin, loved this when I first encountered it, now its, taken for granted. Pretty airstewardesses(es) rarer and rarer to find, but KLM have a good crop, and a couple of years ago there was a GREAT BMI lady who could have just stepped out of Vogue (alright FHM). Did I mention her here before? a quick recap on my posts indicates not, she was called something brilliant like Tina Pretty, or something. She was FINE. Wonder where she is now?
RIGHT just Primal Tweet Therapied my way back to sanity.
SO there's plenty about flying that I love, but there are one or two things that are not quite as good as they could be, mind if I indulge...
1) Check In Queues, not content with raping your wallet the airlines have decided it would be great to start the airport experience off by cutting the number of staff down to zero (ok a half) and making everyone who needs to do those inconveniently expensive things like check a bag or make an enquiry. There is a chance to avoid these by only having handluggage and opting for online check-in (which some of the budget airlines will only charge you a few pounds extra for), but remember to put all you minuscule toiletries in a freezer bag and allow some idiot at the airport probe through (I'm not onto security queue yet).
So if you want the old fashioned service, BE PREPARED TO WAIT and thats because of
2) IDIOT Passengers, who don't know what the f**k they are doing, seem to have been born aged 30-60 something in the airport, with no experience of the world or common sense at all.. witness the woman who walked onto my plane** to row 20 and then said "where is row 1?", well is it likely to be in the middle of the plane, I mean is it? really? if you were allocating row number to a plane would you have row 1 in the middle, would you? would you? WOULD YOU? And to all the people who just seem to wander around the departure lounge, seemingly lost, maybe they are trapped forever, it wouldn't surprise me, they don't appear to be able to match up their boarding cards or the departures boards to the layout of the terminal.
3) Airlines cutting corners.. I understand the need to turn a profit, I do.
* I'm not talking about ryanair, who are unmitigated shysters
** it wasn't my plane it was the plane I was travelling on, probably belonged to a bank. Scanned better to write "my plane"
.....
I am trying to be this smiley friendly easy digestible person that everyone tells me I should be. (I remember being told there was no place for cynicism in a team I was interviewing to join!!!)
So lets start on 5 things I love about flying*....
1) celebrity sightings... I met Nicky Butt in an airport lounge, and sat next to the manager of the Spanish National Equestrian team on a plane once.
2) Impromptu Sleeping.. Maybe as a result of my nocturnal sleep problems, I have a wonderful ability to sleep whenever I need to. So, much to my co-traveler's annoyance, I am able to drop off before the safety briefing, perk up just in time for the trolley service, and then drift off before the descent into whereever.
3) Knowing what's going on.. I quite enjoy being one of the few people who seem to actually know what the steps are to getting yourself on the plane, whilst everyone else is bimbling around (but see later for the flip). Knowing where your gate is, is a good start, knowing when you should be there helps too.
4) Now I am starting to struggle... Having necessary down time, this could be accused of being a duplicate of 2) but, its all the time that the airline require you to spend at the airport whilst they sort their sh*t out. Its great for catching up on reading or eating an overpriced and undercooked meal (to be fair, the airport restaurants seem to be improving)
5) The carpets? the.... no I'm not sure I can stretch to thing of a 5th thing, turning out the lights for taking off and landing in the hours of darkness, thats good, really cold red wine? sometimes that is surprisingly good (surprisingly because your expectations are so, so low). Online checkin, loved this when I first encountered it, now its, taken for granted. Pretty airstewardesses(es) rarer and rarer to find, but KLM have a good crop, and a couple of years ago there was a GREAT BMI lady who could have just stepped out of Vogue (alright FHM). Did I mention her here before? a quick recap on my posts indicates not, she was called something brilliant like Tina Pretty, or something. She was FINE. Wonder where she is now?
RIGHT just Primal Tweet Therapied my way back to sanity.
SO there's plenty about flying that I love, but there are one or two things that are not quite as good as they could be, mind if I indulge...
1) Check In Queues, not content with raping your wallet the airlines have decided it would be great to start the airport experience off by cutting the number of staff down to zero (ok a half) and making everyone who needs to do those inconveniently expensive things like check a bag or make an enquiry. There is a chance to avoid these by only having handluggage and opting for online check-in (which some of the budget airlines will only charge you a few pounds extra for), but remember to put all you minuscule toiletries in a freezer bag and allow some idiot at the airport probe through (I'm not onto security queue yet).
So if you want the old fashioned service, BE PREPARED TO WAIT and thats because of
2) IDIOT Passengers, who don't know what the f**k they are doing, seem to have been born aged 30-60 something in the airport, with no experience of the world or common sense at all.. witness the woman who walked onto my plane** to row 20 and then said "where is row 1?", well is it likely to be in the middle of the plane, I mean is it? really? if you were allocating row number to a plane would you have row 1 in the middle, would you? would you? WOULD YOU? And to all the people who just seem to wander around the departure lounge, seemingly lost, maybe they are trapped forever, it wouldn't surprise me, they don't appear to be able to match up their boarding cards or the departures boards to the layout of the terminal.
3) Airlines cutting corners.. I understand the need to turn a profit, I do.
* I'm not talking about ryanair, who are unmitigated shysters
** it wasn't my plane it was the plane I was travelling on, probably belonged to a bank. Scanned better to write "my plane"
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Insoluable straplines
So on my way to the office this morning, hello by the way long time no see. On my way to the office this morning I passed Bright Horizons, its a nursery, presumably for the offspring of the industrious folk working at the commercial park I am currently plying my trade in.
Anyway Bright Horizons strapline (as if they need one) is "Family Solutions", presumably on the basis that these days if you're not a solution you are part of the problem. Get over yourselves, you are babysitters who charge the earth for making sure people's kids stay alive for 8 hours.
Being of a scientific bent I interpret it slightly differently, literally (more on that and Jamie Redknapp when I have time) poor mum dad and 2.4 happy offspring dissolved in concentrated nitric acid, now there's a family solution for you.
Further along the way is JetBird (who I know find charge €5000 to fly you from dublin to amsterdam) their slogan is "Creating Time", now again I'm not sure how you create or destroy one of the fundamental dimensions of the universe, might as well throw in Reducing Distance for good measure. Now if they were to go one step further and Create Time Solutions I think that would be a potent brew.
Anyway Bright Horizons strapline (as if they need one) is "Family Solutions", presumably on the basis that these days if you're not a solution you are part of the problem. Get over yourselves, you are babysitters who charge the earth for making sure people's kids stay alive for 8 hours.
Being of a scientific bent I interpret it slightly differently, literally (more on that and Jamie Redknapp when I have time) poor mum dad and 2.4 happy offspring dissolved in concentrated nitric acid, now there's a family solution for you.
Further along the way is JetBird (who I know find charge €5000 to fly you from dublin to amsterdam) their slogan is "Creating Time", now again I'm not sure how you create or destroy one of the fundamental dimensions of the universe, might as well throw in Reducing Distance for good measure. Now if they were to go one step further and Create Time Solutions I think that would be a potent brew.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Resolve, Randomness and a Jackass
Such resolve!!! Well it didn't amount to much. I've thought about plenty of stuff but its not quite made it all the way onto the blog and I never got the subdom hosting thing sorted so we are still here in blogspot land.
I've become a bit addicted to Wikipedia recently, I've been looking up pretty much any stuff that comes into my head, here's some stuff I learnt from Wikipedia (apologies if you knew them already or if you just don't find them interesting):-
Music
Music genius BT had his daughter abducted by his former partner Ashley Duffy. ABC news report
Little boots took her name from that of the Roman Emperor Caligula, whose name comes from "little soldier's boot"
Many fans are disappointed with Divided by Night (The Crystal Method 2009), according to the iTunes reviews; many of them think that The Crystal Method is "going mainstream" by having many pop singers as guest vocalists – saying that it's not a real album by the band because many of the songs do not incorporate The Crystal Method's signature breakbeat sound.
Sport
Ashley Cole is an idiot (not from Wiki) and is a distant cousin of Mariah Carey (from Wiki)
AC Milan was founded in 1899 by English lace-maker Herbert Kilpin, Alfred Edwards, and four other Englishmen
The sport of skeleton can be traced back to 1882, when British soldiers in Switzerland constructed a toboggan track between the cities of Davos and Klosters.
Aged twelve, Chemmy Alcott broke her neck in a skiing accident, recovering with two of her vertebrae fused together.
Local Info
George Osborne is heir to the Osborne baronetcy of Ballentaylor, County Tipperary, Ireland.[2] This makes him a part of what is known in Ireland as the Ascendancy, the old Anglo-Irish aristocracy. (he lives in Rainow thats why its local)
Peter Kenyon attended my school, King's Macc, and the motto is nil nisi malis terrori - 'No terror, except to the bad'. Never knew that
Other
the popularity of Bordeaux wines increased dramatically following the marriage of Henry Plantagenet and Aliénor d’Aquitaine. The marriage made the province of Aquitaine English territory, and thenceforth the majority of Bordeaux was exported
During the seige of the Vatican embassy in Panama U.S. forces played loud music in front of the embassy in an attempt to draw out Noriega. Apparently it was Guns And Roses Welcome to the Jungle
I think I'm supposed to cite Wikipedia, but I couldn't work out their crazy nonsense. Anyway its all stuff from wikipedia
and if you thought this post was low on idiocy then watch Kanye West, surely if Obama calls you a jackass you really know you're plumbing the depths. Here he decides that he should win the MTV eurpoean music award for best video because his video cost $1M to make and has pam anderson in it. Simian's video was certainly my faviourite.
Next time out I predict the future of future prediction, but for now a quick prediction... expect intermittant postings here as the next generation of our family makes her way into the world.
I've become a bit addicted to Wikipedia recently, I've been looking up pretty much any stuff that comes into my head, here's some stuff I learnt from Wikipedia (apologies if you knew them already or if you just don't find them interesting):-
Music
Music genius BT had his daughter abducted by his former partner Ashley Duffy. ABC news report
Little boots took her name from that of the Roman Emperor Caligula, whose name comes from "little soldier's boot"
Many fans are disappointed with Divided by Night (The Crystal Method 2009), according to the iTunes reviews; many of them think that The Crystal Method is "going mainstream" by having many pop singers as guest vocalists – saying that it's not a real album by the band because many of the songs do not incorporate The Crystal Method's signature breakbeat sound.
Sport
Ashley Cole is an idiot (not from Wiki) and is a distant cousin of Mariah Carey (from Wiki)
AC Milan was founded in 1899 by English lace-maker Herbert Kilpin, Alfred Edwards, and four other Englishmen
The sport of skeleton can be traced back to 1882, when British soldiers in Switzerland constructed a toboggan track between the cities of Davos and Klosters.
Aged twelve, Chemmy Alcott broke her neck in a skiing accident, recovering with two of her vertebrae fused together.
Local Info
George Osborne is heir to the Osborne baronetcy of Ballentaylor, County Tipperary, Ireland.[2] This makes him a part of what is known in Ireland as the Ascendancy, the old Anglo-Irish aristocracy. (he lives in Rainow thats why its local)
Peter Kenyon attended my school, King's Macc, and the motto is nil nisi malis terrori - 'No terror, except to the bad'. Never knew that
Other
the popularity of Bordeaux wines increased dramatically following the marriage of Henry Plantagenet and Aliénor d’Aquitaine. The marriage made the province of Aquitaine English territory, and thenceforth the majority of Bordeaux was exported
During the seige of the Vatican embassy in Panama U.S. forces played loud music in front of the embassy in an attempt to draw out Noriega. Apparently it was Guns And Roses Welcome to the Jungle
I think I'm supposed to cite Wikipedia, but I couldn't work out their crazy nonsense. Anyway its all stuff from wikipedia
and if you thought this post was low on idiocy then watch Kanye West, surely if Obama calls you a jackass you really know you're plumbing the depths. Here he decides that he should win the MTV eurpoean music award for best video because his video cost $1M to make and has pam anderson in it. Simian's video was certainly my faviourite.
Next time out I predict the future of future prediction, but for now a quick prediction... expect intermittant postings here as the next generation of our family makes her way into the world.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Didn't gather much momentum did I?
New year's resolution, I 'll post something at least once a week.
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